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With that one behind us, we are now attempting to sell our home here in Memphis. The idea being to maximize our flexibility to move - whereever we want. Anyhow, we met with a Realtor, and have decided to try and sell the place on our own. However, we figured we could use a little advice on getting this place ready to sell so we consulted with a "Stager".
The "stager" showed up at 10:00 for our consultation on how to stage the house to sell. Rebecca, was our "stager" and she had developed an interesting way of explaining to women and men everywhere (but especially women) that staging a house to sell is not the same as "decorating a house to live in." This explanation basically allows the "stager" to tell you that your stuff is ugly and you have no taste, without being offensive.....because staging is different than decorating. Whatever.... Well we did pretty well downstairs, just gotta move things around a bit. Nancy is pretty much in charge of downstairs. Upstairs is / was a different story. Especially, my office. I got blasted by the "stager". For those of you who have never been here, my office is a multi-faceted, multi-functional, work of art. It has five major themes - it serves as a:
Real Office - I have state of the art computers and software up here
Library - which used to have 1200 books
Music Studio - complete with 5 guitars, tamborines, speakers, etc.
Texas History Museum
Beer Joint - complete with working refrigerator full of beer.
As best as I can tell, the "stager" thought my office was a FEMA Class A disaster area. You should have seen the look on her face. I can't believe - that after all the work that I have done - she asked me if I couldn't get down to just one bookcase. She also wanted to remove my Texas Flag autographed by Willie Nelson. Believe it or not, now this is a killer....she suggested getting rid of my beer frig!!!!
What's even sadder, with all the stuff she wants me to take out of here, I am going to have to rent another storage building - this will overflow the damn 20 X 10 that we got 2 weeks ago.
OK, so if any of you guys and gals want to understand "staging", it seems that the goal is to completely depersonalize the house, and replace it with the personality and polish of a Ritz Carlton. In other words, let go of your stuff!
I guess, I need more lessons in letting go....and another storage building.
All the best.....
mike
Probably one of my biggest Let Go’s of the year was quitting smoking. For those of you who don’t know it, I quit January 1st of this year, at approximately 10:00 am. You have probably heard all kinds of stories about how hard it is to quit smoking, and this should be no surprise. Some experts believe that nicotine is more addictive than powdered cocaine. Two things helped me quit smoking – Allen Carr’s book “Quit Smoking the Easy Way” and Chantix. I will describe the benefits / and drawbacks of both.
Allen Carr smoked 5 packs of cigarettes a day for over 30 years. After many failures at trying to quit smoking, Carr quit smoking in 1983 after developing a unique outlook on tobacco, nicotine, and the whole cigarette habit in general. Many celebrities have used Carr’s techniques to quit smoking including, Sir Richard Branson, Ellen Degeneres, and Sir Anthony Hopkins. That's Allen's picture above on the right. Unfortunately, Allen Carr, died a few years back at the age of 73. Guess what got him? Yep, Lung Cancer. But not before he had helped millions people quit smoking. And for his efforts, I'd say that Carr is certainly a man to be admired.
Carr begins by asking a simple question, “When did you decide to become a smoker?”. Not when did you smoke your first cigarette, but when did you decide to become a nicotine addict?
You see, nobody ever decides to become a nicotine addict. What happens with cigarettes and other dangerous drugs is that a person decides to try the drug; then finds themselves trapped with the physical and mental need for the drug. Carr starts from this point, and then continues to kick the crutches out from under the cigarette smoking habit. He pretty much finishes the job by causing you to understand that by quitting cigarettes, you are really not giving up anything – instead you are gaining in the health, wealth, and well-being departments. Instead of believing that you are “giving up” cigarettes; its look’s look at what I am getting rid of, a filthy, expensive, and unhealthy habit. You can read more about Allen Carr and his program here. http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com/Home/tabid/125/Default.aspx
Now Chantix is a whole nother thing. Chantix is a drug manufactured by Pfizer. It has a very high success rate compared to other treatments for nicotine addiction. Chantix works by altering the neural receptors in your brain that respond to nicotine. It also has some extremely interesting side effects. Chantix can cause people to have really vivid and really weird dreams.
I know at least a half dozen people who tried Chantix and their dreams were so scary they had to quit. However, I did not suffer this problem. Instead, I had very vivid great dreams! One night I went out on the town, with Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones, I was on the bus with Willie Nelson, and these are just a few of the celebrities who I hung out with every night on Chantix. And the dreams are extremely vivid, like High Definition 1080 P with Dolby Surround Sound on steroids. Every night, I was almost in a hurry to go to bed to find out what my next adventure would be. This went on for about 6 months, it was a good time. However, as Willie Nelson once said, “be careful what you’re dreaming, or soon your dreams will be dreaming you”.
I quit Chantix about 4 months or so after I quit smoking. At first, I didn’t notice anything. Then I started to get really depressed, and I mean really Mariana’s Trench Deep Black Hole depressed. Finally, it got so bad one day at work, I closed the door and called the “Employee Help Line”. I normally don’t believe in Employee Help Lines, but that is how bad I was feeling.
The lady on the help line tried to be helpful. She asked me "have you have you had thoughts of suicide, killing yourself or anyone else?"
Me "No."
Her: "Have you been taking drugs?
Me: "No, I don’t do drugs."
Her: "Do you drink?
Me: "Yes."
She: How much?
Me "Like a fish."
She: "Have you been drinking more than usual?"
Me: "No, I always drink like a fish."
She: "How long have you been drinking like a fish?"
Me: "For the last 20 years at least."
She: "And you haven’t been taking any drugs?"
Me: "Nope, none."
Well by now you may have figured it out, but I had just quit taking a drug – Chantix, and was going through a “withdrawal side effect”. You see I don’t consider the drugs that the Dr. gives you as “taking drugs or using drugs”. Damn. I don’t know if any of you have had “head problems” or not but I can tell you this. When you have a “head problem” they are very difficult to diagnose from inside your own head. Once I realized what had caused the problem, I began to feel better almost immediately.
So let’s see what have we learned here……
All the best....
mike
The rest of these have got to go! Wow, this is actually working. I am down to less than 200. I'm going to stop for now on this blog....and try and finish us on this debooking project.
All the best,
mike
That's probably a good enough sample for most of you.
I believe that Alfred E. helped me to learn to laugh and try to make the best of every situation. Once I had reached this state; "the A.E. Neuman State of Mind" I really begin to understand how "What? Me Worry?" can actually become a guiding principle.
If you fully understand "What? Me Worry?" as a guiding principle then you know in your heart that no matter how rough this economy gets, we will still probably have some food to eat, at least a halfway decent place to live, and most importantly good family and friends that we love and who love us back. Finally, I am pretty sure we will always be able to share a laugh or two, every chance we get. What more can you really ask for?mike
If you'd like to see some Alfred's great quotes you can find them here:
Man this "letting go", can keep ur ass busy. Opportunities globally ranging from Costa Rica to Memphis, TN. From St. Thomas to St. Louis. What's next? Grand Rapids Michigan - catching the plane tonight.
I hope the pressure doesn't get to me. I'll update you soon on any arrangements relative to the bucket list. Keep your eyes open for the catfishing op. It could be next week. Let's Go!
All the best,
mike
Nov. 4, 2008
The “Last Bucket List” of
Michael Wayne Roberts
As of November 4, 2008….subject to many changes in the future
Preamble:
I, Michael Wayne Roberts, being of somewhat sound mind and body, do hereby declare that as of this date, May 27, 2008, this is the “Last Bucket List Will of myself, Michael Wayne Roberts. It is valid only until such time as I update it; which I hope will be monthly with new challenges and adventures that I wish to explore with family, old friends, new friends, strangers, or even in some cases, alone. This is not, at this point a legally binding “PTA document” (Pain in The Ass) document. It is living and growing challenge that I will share with close friends and family only. Of course to become a close friend or family member is generally possible at any time. To become a close friend just give me a wink or a nod at the right time. If you desire family membership, I can help in that area as well; since I am an ordained minister in the Church of Universal Ministry. Please keep in mind that my church does not practice polygamy (it’s too hard for mortals to do) nor do we “allow human or animal sacrifice” since it is so messy. By and large, my congregation simply gives thanks for all that has been given us every day by the Grand Architect of the Universe.
If you are reading this, it is probably because I hoping that you will join me on one, or more, of my bucket list adventures. If you don’t see anything of interest, on the current list; stay tuned for upcoming dates….or what the Hell?…..throw in some ideas for the list of your own. If you have this secret list, you probably know that I am a “Gamer” and might try anything you can name with a friend.
To try and ensure that I keep my priorities straight, I have time banded my list into “near term must do’s”, mid term must do’s, and longer term “wanna do’s”. I have also included a “trash bucket list” of things that I gotta get done soon…..just to get them off my mind; and while these are listed last; I consider them a priority; in that, failing to knock them off could delay the really great “must do’s and wanna do’s. As such, in the near term I am going after the “trash bucket list” with a mortal vengeance. If I am successful at these; it can create more room for the need to and want to do’s on the rest of the bucket list.
If my list seems simple to you; I think that is great. I wanted a foundation I could think about and build upon. I hope you will pay close attention to the near term events, because if I live long enough – they will be complete in the next 6 – 12 months. Others take a little more planning, and are potentially even more important / fun. My truest hope is that some of you may find something that interests you, and jump it the bucket with me! If You Think You Are Ready…..Let Me Know, And As I Have Said Before
Let’s Go!!!!!
Last Will and Bucket List for
Michael W. Roberts
May 27, 2008
Near Term (Gotta Do):
1. Go Fishing for “Big Cats” on the Mississippi. (How could we miss this chance?) you can find that one here...and sign up with me...
http://www.bigcatfishing.com/ for some reason...there is some reluctance on the part of some of my friends.
2. Visit Liverpool England. Home of the Beatles.
3. Great big 4th of July Party down in East Texas featuring our band “Diddley Squat” and family. Ray Price? Kenny Falls? Others? Speak-easy? Bring the team! Dance Instruction / Dance contest….
4. Watermelon festival parade with my family. Consider “do-dah parade”. Sponsor statewide melon carving contest! Bring the Team! Randy Moore, Wade Cobb, Tony Cobb….bring em all.
5. Alaska tour with Nancy (I promised and am overdue on this one) in August.
6. Investigate / Instigate Northeast Texas Revival (with Carabeth Lucky etal.
7. Omaha Fall Festival – win the best of show and chili cook-off (CASI). Sponsor successful scarecrow contest!
8. Actively Participate and Make a Scene at Captain Daingerfield Days.
9. Consider Do-Dah Parade.
10. City / County Christmas - things for everyone – make it special
11. Daingerfield Park Celebration and Festival!!!!
12. Could include Sunday Fest and Lunch….
13. Munich at Christmas with Nancy
Slightly Longer Term (Need to Do)
48 State Bike Ride (alone or with bros. / sistas)
Yosemite
Death Valley
Big Bend
Old Faithful
Mount Rushmore
Florist Biker Ride
Memphis World Champ BBQ cook off
Terlingqua Chili World Championship – at least compete
Flower Design Training (CHR) or Texas or Other (Nancy and Mike)
Costa Rica with Big Ike
Mayan Vacation – Tuluum – Chetimzal etc.
Machu Pichu
Longer Term List…..
Well we’ll just have to wait and see how this one plays out after I finish the first list…..
The Secrets of Chasing Women and Having Fun
Another Mystery in the Life of Mike Roberts
For those of you who have not yet met my dear friend Big Ike, He and I go back about a dozen years. Ike is in the concrete business, which like other housing sector businesses is going through some turbulent times. Ike is following this blog and sent me the following post…..
My Dear Friend Ike Writes:
“Good morning my friend, THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HATH MADE AND I WILL REJOICE IN IT! Happy is the man and he alone, he who can call today his own, he who without regret can say, TOMORROW DO THY DAMNDIST FOR I HAVE LIVED TODAY! 3 days ago I didn't even know what a blog was! Now I have on! I just don't know how to write anything on it! Would you do me the great honor of writing something for me based on the theme of chasing women, and having fun! Your style is so much more eloquent, and refined! Call me! Love Ya Man!!!!!! PURA VIDA, Ike
PS Did I spell damnedist correct? It would not come up on spell check?
Since this blog is about letting go I decided Ike’s request fits in ….at least kind of….my response is below…
My dear friend Big Ike asked me to help kick-start his blog by writing something about chasing women and having fun. Obviously this is a great topic, and one that many men and possibly women would be greatly interested in. The unfortunate part of this topic for me is it is a topic I know just about nothing about, especially these days.
Let me try and explain. Here are my list of reasons and excuses for pleading ignorance on this subject.
1. Of my 54 years on this planet, I have held a job for 42 of those years and have been married 35 of them. This did not leave me a whole lot of time for mastering the fine art of having fun or chasing women.
2. Physical Appearance – I’d like to tell you that I have the type of body that “men fear and women love”, however those of you that know me – know better. Another thing that doesn’t help is the fact that, I have the perfect face - for radio.
3. Finally, it seems like every time I was starting to succeed at chasing women or having fun – I’d fool around and get myself caught.
Don’t get me wrong, I was always deeply interested in both topics, just didn’t have the time or the money required to master them. In fact, I have been so unlucky at chasing women and having fun that complete strangers have walked up and said to me “I’ll bet you couldn’t get lucky in a women’s prison with hand full of paroles.”
My dear old Pappy told me that there was only two ways to attract women, and none of the men in our family had ever really figured out how either of them worked.
While I maynot much in the playboy department, I do consider myself an intrepid writer, not afraid of any subject, regardless of how little I may know about the subject. Lack of knowledge has never stopped me before, and I won’t let it stop me now. Especially, since I have a ½ dozen single friends who sometimes provide me updates on these exciting subjects – and I am a good listener.
First, Ike let me give you a possible title for your new blog site.....I know how hard it is to come up with a good title so here you go....
Ike Griggs
My Journey: From 55 year-old Plowboy to Middle Aged Playboy
Now here are a few potential topics.....
Top 10....er....6......ok 4 Tips for Chasing Women;
1. Frequent Target Rich Environments. According to some of my more successful friends these are environments where the ratio of women to men is at last three – two. Further, it can be helpful, if the women at these places were / are formerly married to oil millionaires, bankers, doctors, lawyers, or other wealthy professional vermin. In some cases these ladies may just be looking for a deckhand for a night of fun; in other cases it can be more serious. My recommendation is as always, be careful.
2. Be sure and use the Internet Dating Service that is right for you. Subscribe to all Internet dating services, but be a little bit careful about how you use them. Some, like E-Harmony are actually trying to fix you up with someone who is compatible with you, this could put a quick end to chasing women and having fun….so watch it. Others, like match.com, are more helpful, just trying to match up horny couples who need to get laid. Be sure when using these services not to fall in love, as your likelihood of true compatibility is somewhat diminished. Finally, there is Craigslist.com; where you are most likely to find hookers and catch a serious STD.
(Case Study; I have a buddy who has got to be over 70 who told me he was getting more every month, than he had in the last 10 years. He was seeing White, Black, Asian, and Hispanic women) His top secrets were Money, Match.Com, and Viagra. I asked him about STD’s and he claimed that at his age his doctor said he was "immune".
3. Always wear a wedding ring. If you have thrown all your old one’s out, go and buy a new one. These are must attire for gentlemen on the prowl. You see with a wedding ring, there is an automatic assumption of “no-commitments”, apparently and according to the experts, many women feel extremely comfortable with this sort of arrangement. This issue has become so prevalent, that a musician friend of mine has quit wearing his wedding ring, to prevent these type of women from stalking him.
4. Style Yourself. Keep in mind that the style you present, will determine the type of women you may attract. Here are a couple of classifications:
a. High Style - Drives a 2008 Atomic Orange Convertible Corvette. Wears swanky looking clothes, with matching shoes. Body build etc. thin, tan, muscular. Carries a minimum of twenty one hundred dollar bills in a gold money clip. Wears Rolex President watch. Also has, a wallet full over the limit plastic. This guy gets them just about every time. Trouble is, sometimes they just want his money.
b. Medium Style – Wears casual business clothes, glasses, looks somewhat inconspicuous. Carries two credit cards, one personal, one business. Medium build; average appearance. This is a very dangerous style to display. It will tend to attract only women who want to marry you, and usually if they are attractive they have 2 kids under 5 years old.
c. Deckhand – Wears only sleeveless shirts, with somewhat faded bluejeans or cut-off’s in the summer. Occasionally, wears a mullet (especially in the south). Has glorious tan, strong abs, big chest and biceps. Might have beer money in his pocket, no watch, no socks, no underwear. This is the ideal style if you can pull it off, it’s the "what you see is what you get – party boy look". Guaranteed for a night of fun.
Top Ways to Run Off Women:
1. Please review the profile of Mike Roberts. This has been almost fool proof for over 50 years.
2. Use some of those outdate lines from the 70’s like “what is your sign?” or “have you been sitting in a puddle or are you glad to see me?
3. Get some of those mud flaps for your pick-up with the naked gal silhouette.
4. Get a Tee Shirt that says “if they didn’t have vaginas, there would be a bounty on them."
If any of the rest of you have ideas for Big Ike's Chasing Women and Having Fun Blog, you can post them here, or email them to Big Ike in person @ ikegriggs@live.com
One more word of wisdom for the ladies who might read this to keep in mind, I have had 4 friends get married in the last two years, none of them are still married. Although, I suspect this has little to do with me, my official record over the last two years is 4 marriages; 3 divorces; 1 annulment; and no one left on base.
None the less, I have given this assignment my best & I wish all of you…..
All the best,
Mike