Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
With that one behind us, we are now attempting to sell our home here in Memphis. The idea being to maximize our flexibility to move - whereever we want. Anyhow, we met with a Realtor, and have decided to try and sell the place on our own. However, we figured we could use a little advice on getting this place ready to sell so we consulted with a "Stager".
The "stager" showed up at 10:00 for our consultation on how to stage the house to sell. Rebecca, was our "stager" and she had developed an interesting way of explaining to women and men everywhere (but especially women) that staging a house to sell is not the same as "decorating a house to live in." This explanation basically allows the "stager" to tell you that your stuff is ugly and you have no taste, without being offensive.....because staging is different than decorating. Whatever.... Well we did pretty well downstairs, just gotta move things around a bit. Nancy is pretty much in charge of downstairs. Upstairs is / was a different story. Especially, my office. I got blasted by the "stager". For those of you who have never been here, my office is a multi-faceted, multi-functional, work of art. It has five major themes - it serves as a:
Real Office - I have state of the art computers and software up here
Library - which used to have 1200 books
Music Studio - complete with 5 guitars, tamborines, speakers, etc.
Texas History Museum
Beer Joint - complete with working refrigerator full of beer.
As best as I can tell, the "stager" thought my office was a FEMA Class A disaster area. You should have seen the look on her face. I can't believe - that after all the work that I have done - she asked me if I couldn't get down to just one bookcase. She also wanted to remove my Texas Flag autographed by Willie Nelson. Believe it or not, now this is a killer....she suggested getting rid of my beer frig!!!!
What's even sadder, with all the stuff she wants me to take out of here, I am going to have to rent another storage building - this will overflow the damn 20 X 10 that we got 2 weeks ago.
OK, so if any of you guys and gals want to understand "staging", it seems that the goal is to completely depersonalize the house, and replace it with the personality and polish of a Ritz Carlton. In other words, let go of your stuff!
I guess, I need more lessons in letting go....and another storage building.
All the best.....
Friday, November 28, 2008
Probably one of my biggest Let Go’s of the year was quitting smoking. For those of you who don’t know it, I quit January 1st of this year, at approximately 10:00 am. You have probably heard all kinds of stories about how hard it is to quit smoking, and this should be no surprise. Some experts believe that nicotine is more addictive than powdered cocaine. Two things helped me quit smoking – Allen Carr’s book “Quit Smoking the Easy Way” and Chantix. I will describe the benefits / and drawbacks of both.
Allen Carr smoked 5 packs of cigarettes a day for over 30 years. After many failures at trying to quit smoking, Carr quit smoking in 1983 after developing a unique outlook on tobacco, nicotine, and the whole cigarette habit in general. Many celebrities have used Carr’s techniques to quit smoking including, Sir Richard Branson, Ellen Degeneres, and Sir Anthony Hopkins. That's Allen's picture above on the right. Unfortunately, Allen Carr, died a few years back at the age of 73. Guess what got him? Yep, Lung Cancer. But not before he had helped millions people quit smoking. And for his efforts, I'd say that Carr is certainly a man to be admired.
Carr begins by asking a simple question, “When did you decide to become a smoker?”. Not when did you smoke your first cigarette, but when did you decide to become a nicotine addict?
You see, nobody ever decides to become a nicotine addict. What happens with cigarettes and other dangerous drugs is that a person decides to try the drug; then finds themselves trapped with the physical and mental need for the drug. Carr starts from this point, and then continues to kick the crutches out from under the cigarette smoking habit. He pretty much finishes the job by causing you to understand that by quitting cigarettes, you are really not giving up anything – instead you are gaining in the health, wealth, and well-being departments. Instead of believing that you are “giving up” cigarettes; its look’s look at what I am getting rid of, a filthy, expensive, and unhealthy habit. You can read more about Allen Carr and his program here. http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com/Home/tabid/125/Default.aspx
Now Chantix is a whole nother thing. Chantix is a drug manufactured by Pfizer. It has a very high success rate compared to other treatments for nicotine addiction. Chantix works by altering the neural receptors in your brain that respond to nicotine. It also has some extremely interesting side effects. Chantix can cause people to have really vivid and really weird dreams.
I know at least a half dozen people who tried Chantix and their dreams were so scary they had to quit. However, I did not suffer this problem. Instead, I had very vivid great dreams! One night I went out on the town, with Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones, I was on the bus with Willie Nelson, and these are just a few of the celebrities who I hung out with every night on Chantix. And the dreams are extremely vivid, like High Definition 1080 P with Dolby Surround Sound on steroids. Every night, I was almost in a hurry to go to bed to find out what my next adventure would be. This went on for about 6 months, it was a good time. However, as Willie Nelson once said, “be careful what you’re dreaming, or soon your dreams will be dreaming you”.
I quit Chantix about 4 months or so after I quit smoking. At first, I didn’t notice anything. Then I started to get really depressed, and I mean really Mariana’s Trench Deep Black Hole depressed. Finally, it got so bad one day at work, I closed the door and called the “Employee Help Line”. I normally don’t believe in Employee Help Lines, but that is how bad I was feeling.
The lady on the help line tried to be helpful. She asked me "have you have you had thoughts of suicide, killing yourself or anyone else?"
Her: "Have you been taking drugs?
Me: "No, I don’t do drugs."
Her: "Do you drink?
She: How much?
Me "Like a fish."
She: "Have you been drinking more than usual?"
Me: "No, I always drink like a fish."
She: "How long have you been drinking like a fish?"
Me: "For the last 20 years at least."
She: "And you haven’t been taking any drugs?"
Me: "Nope, none."
Well by now you may have figured it out, but I had just quit taking a drug – Chantix, and was going through a “withdrawal side effect”. You see I don’t consider the drugs that the Dr. gives you as “taking drugs or using drugs”. Damn. I don’t know if any of you have had “head problems” or not but I can tell you this. When you have a “head problem” they are very difficult to diagnose from inside your own head. Once I realized what had caused the problem, I began to feel better almost immediately.
So let’s see what have we learned here……
- Don’t Smoke – that way you won’t have to quit.
- Allen Carr – has a great approach for quitting smoking
- Not all drugs are illegal (Nicotine, Beer, Vodka, and Chantix are all legal)
- Do not play around with the Neural Receptors in Your Brain
- Head problems can be hard to fix.
All the best....
Thursday, November 20, 2008
"Mike, exactly what I would have expected from you.
In last month I let go of a lot of clothes, books, etc. I am deciding where else to let go. Wife, son, daughter, sister, dog, mom, and mother-in-law are keepers. All else open to discussion.
Letting go is scary, joyous, interesting, and lets you go to the next step in your life.
Have fun with your blog and please feed the mousse so they won’t have to bring a sack lunch."
Value Creation Group, Inc
I think John has brought another new perspective to letting go. Identify, the truly heartfelt things that are important, and hold on to them even tighter.....but let the other stuff go. I'm working on it John. Thanks for the input.
All the best,
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Only a few people know it but I am a hat nut. By the way, Nancy is a hat nut too; and she always looks so sharp in her hats. Her Mom did too, I guess it is a family trait.
In any case, I lost my two best hats. I had a beautiful suede Stetson hat, which I left with my coat 3 weeks ago in Michigan. If that weren't enough, I left my Kangol Beret at a hotel in Michigan as well. Wow, my travelling expenses are skyrocketing. But let's get a few things straight here. I am not letting go of my hats...at least not my favorites. I just lost two, and they must be replaced!!!
I googled "Men's Hat Stores in Memphis" and guess what I got...."Mister Hat of Memphis". What a store, located in East Memphis, not too far from my former office. I went there today for some "Retail Therapy" and boy did I get a surprise. You can get a taste here.... http://www.mrhats.com/
Turns out that Mister Hats is owned and operated by Mr. Lansky. Not necessarily the Mr. Lansky that you might know....but his brother. Some of you, who are "unwashed" by the Bluff City, and the Mississippi River may not know who Mr. Lansky is. Please allow me to introduce you to Mr. Lansky, the clothier of the King Elvis... http://www.lansky126.com/history_home.php
Anyhow, it turns out that there are at least 6 Lansky Brothers. And they are all great as far as I can tell. According to Mr. Lansky, there are over 2 million different types of hats, and Lansky's tries to keep up, but he only has 450,000 different types at his store in Memphis. Every customer is treated as though they are a personal friend of the Lansky family. Everyone who walked in the door at Mister Hats asked for Mr. Lansky. These gentelmen are a tribute to what made America a great county, and I am truly thankful for having the opportunity to meet them.
If anyone ever makes it up here to see me....we are going to see the Lansky Brothers, and I hope you have got your purse or wallet ready .....because we're going to drop a few dollars. But you'll be glad you did.
Now about Letting Go of Hats - it's ok to let go, as long as you get a couple of more and they are even better than what you had. If it's good enough for the King, and Big Ike and Big Mike....it's probably just what you need.
All the best.....
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
How many books does anybody need? I woke up this morning thinking about books. Yesterday, I started out with about 600 books - I got rid of a several boxes of the dang things - I still have at least 400. I'm going to get ruthless and try and get down to 100 - books that I think I need.
What you see here is a 22 volume edition of the Practical Handyman Encyclopedia. Yep, you are right, I have never been accused of either one, being practical or being a handyman. Do you remember the Jethro Tull Song "Locomotive Breath"? Well there is a verse in that song that says that the individual "Locomotive Breath", "has his hands on Gideon's Bible, opened at page one". That's the way I feel I feel too, I would hate for my lifeless body to be found dead - with my eyes open ....still looking at volume one - page one of the Practical Handyman Encyclopedia.
Here's another classic, from 1993 "The Death of Superman". Now the problem here is not that I have a "comic book", the problem is that I have 103 of them....all the same issue. This was my idea of a get rich quick scheme. Since these were a "limited edition" and 1993 to 2008 - that's 15 years - so what are these babies worth? Based on what I see on ebay, I might be able to recover my initial purchase price. The term "limited edition" must mean that they printed only 100 copies for every living American. Let me know soon if you need one. Otherwise, these are heading for ebay. Not one of my better financial investments for sure.
Although this may seem like a good start, what is called for here is a more radical approach to book sorting. Rather, than thinking about which books to "pitch", I need to focus on what books to save. Here are my rules for saving books. I will keep a book if:
- It is the family Bible. This will help people think I am not a heathen.
- It is a book that is autographed by a person I respect.
- I am keeping my Cub & Boy Scout books and that, is that!
- I am keeping my Kinky Friedman books - I can't help it.
- I guess I will keep my Cost Management Reference Books.
The rest of these have got to go! Wow, this is actually working. I am down to less than 200. I'm going to stop for now on this blog....and try and finish us on this debooking project.
All the best,
Monday, November 17, 2008
Since that time we have cleaned out the garage about 3 times. How can this happen? Well after watching the Longhorns Lose to Tech and Dallas lose to I forgot who.....we called it a day. The battle resumed the following Saturday. I continued chanting my new budhist mantra "rid thyself of the possessions of thy garage." And after, a significant battle on Saturday the 8th, we had pretty much cleared all of the junk from the garage. So, Nancy suggested that I go to the office and get some more boxes. We stored these in our newly cleaned gargage. These were for the next phase of the clean out. Now the Matra is "rid thyself of the possessions of your office". Now here is a real challenge.
The initial inventory of my office goes something like this: with 1200 books, five guitars, 100's of compact discs, 1000's of marbles, 103 Superman Comics, over 10o zippo lighters, 8 pocket knives, a b-b gun, a ship load of paper, one treadmill and two sets of weights (new, in mint condition). One small refrigerator, a nice statue of Nephrotite, a few golf clubs, fishing rods, recording studio, michrophones, software, computer games. Holy catz, I guess I have never thrown anything away.
So as you might guess, as Nancy and I began clearing the house out, the garage filled up again. This necessitated another trip to the storage unit (which, although it is 10 x 20 feet - is over 2/3 full. I guess I just need more boxes. Who ever knew that letting go would be so challenging? I'm struggling to let go...but I think I may be getting better.
All the best....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
If you saw the news yesterday, it was little hard to ignore that the Labor Department reported an additional 530,000 people became unemployed last month. This brought the 3 month total up to 1,250,000. Now there's an interesting thought; how to make oneself stand out in the crowd at the unemployment line. Here how my Dad did the job in 1955;
The View from the Back…………
Of the Unemployment Line 1955
Long about 1955, a disabled Marine Corp Veteran stood at the end of the unemployment line in San Diego, California. He had just about given up hope on finding a job and carried a loaded 38 Special tucked in his belt and under the old jacket that he wore. The gun was there because this young Marine had planned to rob a liquor store; with a goal of stealing enough money to send his 1-year-old son to Northeast Texas on a Greyhound bus. He decided to try one more time to find a job, before committing a dangerous crime.
Along with the 38 Special tucked in his belt, he held his one year old son in his left arm at the end of that long unemployment line. The baby was sick and crying, and nerves were coming unraveled, both for the disabled Marine and the other folks ahead of him in the line. Just as things were about to snap in the young vet’s head, a man from the San Diego unemployment office walked up and said, “Private, can you drive a truck?” The young vet said, “yes sir!” and was told to report to the San Diego Box and Spring Company, for a job immediately for employment as a truck driver. He took the baby back to his sister’s house, and reported for work at San Diego Box and Spring.
A year or two later, with his war wounds still haunting and hurting him, the young Marine Vet, came back to East Texas with his bride and his son. Work was scarce in Northeast Texas, so he picked cotton, even with the mortar wounds and shrapnel still in his back. Many nights the pain was so great he laid flat on the hard word floor, sweating and hoping for some relief. Next morning, he went out to the fields again to try and make a living for his family. I saw him do this. And as far as making a living for his family he did a damn fine job.
You see, that young wounded Marine was a guy named Roy Glenn Roberts, and he was and still is my father. Probably because of all the pain and hardship my dear old Daddy had to bare, he had a major stroke when he was only 48; and died when he was only 60. But he left my Mom, and me, and my sister, DeAnna, with a huge legacy. Not in terms of wealth, money, or anything like that. He left us with a sense of pride, hard work, and determination. Moreover, he left all of us with a complete unwillingness to quit or give up. And for that I am eternally thankful. The only four letter word my Dad said we couldn't use was "Can't".
I hope I can show you a little bit of Dad’s determination in me; from the back of the unemployment line. Even if there are 10 million people in front of me - I guarantee I will make it; I have to because of Dad.
All the best,
Hey and if you see this please wish my dear friend Laura Zander Cole a very happy birthday you can reach her here:
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
As most of you know by now, I am pretty much out of a job. On the economic front, the stock market dove another four-hundred plus points today. Ford is selling for $1.80 per share. There is a lot of doom and gloom out there in the "big bad world". And as Big Al always used to remind me, "it's scary out there boys and girls." All of this reminds me of another one of my childhood hero's, Alfred E. Neuman.
How many of you remember the old "Mad Magazine"??? Back in the day, their slogan was "25 cents, still cheap". On the front cover was always the same goofy looking freckled-face bastard with red hair, and one or two of his front teeth knocked out, that was Alfred E. Neuman.
In fact in my younger years, numerous friends of mine told me that I bore a striking resemblence to the more well-known, and well loved Alfred E. Neuman. I like to think then and now, that Alfred and I had still have a lot in common. For those of you who may not remember Alfred, I put a picture of him at the top of the post. Alfred is on the left.
Along with having freckles, red hair, and missing front teeth, Alfred and I practiced pretty much the same philosophy.....and Alfred expressed it perfectly - his picture always carried the caption "What? Me Worry?" You see, when you're a poor kid, cursed with freckles and red hair, and you've had the misfortune to knock out your permanent front teeth in an all-out bicycle race (which is another story) you kind of develop a "devil may care attitude toward" life. You kind of get to thinking "what'll they do to me next, take away my birthday?" At least that's the way I thought Alfred and I saw it.
I found this "What? Me Worry?" philosophy to be helpful in many ways. It helped me develop a special kind of self confidence, in that, often times I would think to myself "well, it can't get much worse". And then, sure enough, it would get worse and I would still believe "it can't get too much worse". And then pretty soon I'd find myself joking about the situation. I like to think of this as "innertainment". Once the innertainment hits you, it seems that nothing can stop you...you just kind of "let go"
Here's an innertainment sampler for ya....
- We were so poor, that when I was a little boy, it was a good thing that I was a boy, otherwise I wouln't have had anything to play with.
- We were so poor, that when I was growing up, if a mouse came to our house, he had to bring his own sack lunch.
- We were so poor where we lived, that the rainbow was in black and white.
- We were so poor, that our cockroaches were on food stamps.
- When I was growing up, we were so poor, we couldn't even pay attention.
- When I was growing up, we were so poor, and we had to eat so many armadillos for supper, that to this day if I hear a dog bark, I roll up into a little ball.
- We lived so far back in the sticks, that the 6:00 news didn't come on until 9:30.
- I was so damn homely looking, that I couldn't get lucky in a women's prison with a handful of paroles.
That's probably a good enough sample for most of you.
I believe that Alfred E. helped me to learn to laugh and try to make the best of every situation. Once I had reached this state; "the A.E. Neuman State of Mind" I really begin to understand how "What? Me Worry?" can actually become a guiding principle.If you fully understand "What? Me Worry?" as a guiding principle then you know in your heart that no matter how rough this economy gets, we will still probably have some food to eat, at least a halfway decent place to live, and most importantly good family and friends that we love and who love us back. Finally, I am pretty sure we will always be able to share a laugh or two, every chance we get. What more can you really ask for?
In these tough times "What? Me Worry?" could be a lifesaver, and a lot cheaper than a shrink. I hope this helps you "let go" and laugh a little.
All the best,
If you'd like to see some Alfred's great quotes you can find them here:
Monday, November 10, 2008
- Catfishing on the Mississippi. I got two volunteers to go and get stinky with me chasing 100 lb. catfish on the mighty Mississippi. This is surprising, I thought I might have to go it alone. Patrick Downing and Big Ike Griggs have agreed to join in this adventure - plus I have some interest from Chris McAfee. Big Ike wrote me with his request to participate and the following tale of catfishing heroism....
Big Mike I would like to be considered for the BIG catfish trip, since my 1st name is BIG. Need to know time line. Do you fish with pole or trot line, and do we have to clean the fish? When I went broke in late 80's and moved to Oakalla, Tx. Chad and I caught a 28 lb. Yellow cat, on trot line in the Lampasas river. It almost drowned my brother BIG Mike. I told him" forget about saving your cigarette, or the son-of-a-bitch is going to drown you!" Now is that a catfish story or what? I have truly amazing friends. You can find out more here; http://www.bigcatfishing.com/
Guys I am working to try and get us lined up with James "Big Cat" Patterson before the weather gets too cold. He's booked solid for this week. Try and keep ur Fridays flexible. I have always felt this was a good practice anyhow.
- My niece Tiffany, reminded me of my long term goal of owning a Schnauzer ranch. I once wanted to have a Schnauzer Ranch with maybe 100 head of thoroughbred schnauzers. Nancy and I currently have four schnauzers, which is at least 2 too many. You see the correct ratio of Schnauzers to humans cannot exceed one to one. Otherwise they get all jealous and go nutso on you. I can't imagine what 100 head of schnauzer's would do; so this will require further deliberation.
- My buddy, Ross suggested I consider some Scuba Diving with him. Ross, was my high school motorcycle riding buddy and good friend. He has since become a PADI licensed scuba instructor. Ross is also a great underwater photographer...he sent me a great link to some photos underwater photo's he's taken. I'd post it here - but I lost it. Anyhow, now my buddy Stu has a Captain's License for "unlimited tonnage". I think I see some possibilities here. Maybe I can help set it up and work as "deckhand".
- Bill Wells, another friend from International Paper, suggested that I start a web page and go back to consulting. Honestly, I am trying not to do this, it pays great, but it's not as much fun as it looks.
- My good friend Kevin Hinz, added one to the bucket list which I know is a "gotta do". He invited Nancy and I up to St. Louis to watch Chuck Berry play. Now how do you beat that?
Man this "letting go", can keep ur ass busy. Opportunities globally ranging from Costa Rica to Memphis, TN. From St. Thomas to St. Louis. What's next? Grand Rapids Michigan - catching the plane tonight.
I hope the pressure doesn't get to me. I'll update you soon on any arrangements relative to the bucket list. Keep your eyes open for the catfishing op. It could be next week. Let's Go!
All the best,
So now it is time "to rid ourselves of the possessions of our closets."
I got rid of about a half dozen beautiful suits that no longer fit.
I guess my next effort needs to be "rid thyself of the fat upon your (_l_)".
Seems like a good project. Let's go!!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
To that end, Nancy and I spent last weekend trying to get rid of a bunch of junk.....we rented a 20 x 10 storage building....and just about filled it up. What did this accomplish? My bet is that I have to move this shit again in less than 6 months; moreover, I will probably rent a huge semi-truck and trailor to haul this shit across the country. On top of that, I now have a $120 per month charge to store this crapola.
For years now, these possessions have had control of the garage;
1. Three or Four 8 person camping tents.
2. 30-40 Coleman lanterns, (I'll explain later)
3. Portions of a 2006 R1 Yamaha
4. Portions of a 1947 Chrysler New Yorker
5. Portions of a 2004 Honda VTX 1800
6. Antique stereo equipment....dating back to college days
7. Four Sets of Golf Clubs.
8. At least 5 sets of mechanics tools including Jacks, Jack Stands, Motorcycle Jacks, Wrenches, Welders, two battery chargers, 5 tool boxes, a couple of powersaws, a couple of drill sets, plumbing supplies etc.
9. Junk Furniture - that Nancy bought.
Do you see a trend developing here? Yep, you got it.....it's the damn junk furniture Nancy keeps dragging into this house that is busting the budget and making the garage uninhabitable. We're going to have a talk about this right now. Seriously.
Well, I'm glad we got that straightened out. Nancy agreed that she had gone overboard when she spent $100 on a Chinese-made end table. Now what is going to happen next? I think I will make a few course corrections......
1. I am probabaly nearly too old and decrepit to do too much more camping. Further, I can't see me rallying 30 of my best friends to spend a night under the stars in one of 4 tents I purchased on ebay. At a minimum - 3 of these beauties have got to go.....4 would probably be a better number.
2. Yeah, and there for a while I got hung up on the idea that I, and I alone, should repair every Coleman Lantern I could find. I can't remember when that vision came to me - it may have been the fall-out of never making it all the way to Eagle Scout. In any case, I'll cut myself back to a single Coleman - the rest can go to EBay.
3. And about the Yamaha R-1 Motorycycle Parts, well, about a year and a half ago I fancied myself a Motorcycle Racer and decided I needed a 180 horsepower crotch rocket to demonstate my skills. I had the thing about a month, when I demonstrated my skills right into a ditch, after taking a curve way too fast. Here's another crazy idea "let's race motorcycles for fun and profit!". What's left of this can go in the trash. Thank God, this little beast didn't finish me off.
4. Along with a few of my other misconceptions, I fancied myself quite the mechanic and set about restoring a 1947 Chrysler New Yorker. Well, this project took me parts of the last 7 years, and I have just about got it - but the truth is; it has cost me a fortune. And I'd love to get rid of it, before I have to hire a real mechanic to fix it again. I'll get this sold by Christmas at the latest.
5. Portions of a Honda VTX 1800 Motorcycle - well this one started out innocently enough, I bought this bike for my Sister. All it needed was some cosmetic work, when I got it. But by the time I had got through with the cosmetics, it needed real help. We finally sent it away, and got it running - oh well....more money down the toilet...and more left over parts in the garage. The left over parts can go. The VTX will be sold by Christmas. I bought my sister a nice bike that fits her better anyhow.
6. The stereo equipment, now honestly, that could happen to anyone. Unfortunately, it just keeps happening to me.
7. Four Sets of Golf Clubs - This is completely out of control. First, the only two good balls I ever hit playing golf was the day I stepped on the rake. So how do I wind up with 4 sets of clubs.... easy....it's Nancy again. First, off she has her own set of clubs which her family bought her, which she considers "priceless". A little hard to fault her for that. However, we have a set of men's "lefties" which we have because of her brother is left handed. So there's two sets of clubs for Nancy. I only have one set of clubs, except for the set that John Miller gave me - and since he is a well known author and expert in ABM I have kept these for all of these years. Unfortunately, the lefties, and John Miller's hand me downs are going to the Good Will tomorrow. Unless I here from some avid collectors of golfing memorobilia.
8. I finally figured it out. I am not a mechanic, my Dad was a mechanic. If Dad had any talent at mechanics, it was not passed down to me. Neither, am I a carpenter, my dear Grandpa Roberts was a carpenter. He did not pass down one ounce of carpenter ability to my Dad, and Dad must have passed me down even less than that. I am not an electrician, I don't even understand electricity. I need to leave these things alone. I am going to try and sell all of these damn tools this weekend, before I hurt myself!
Let me know if you need anything - as for me - I'm Letting Go!
All the best,
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
While on the subject of bucket lists and wills, here's another good one. My sister has been jabbing at me with the Tommy Smother's line "Mom Always Liked You Best" thing. So anyhow, she and I were down at Mom's for Thanksgiving a year or so ago, and Mom has this beautiful octagonal table made of a variety of beautiful handcrafted woods. DeAnna mentioned to me how much she liked it and someday hoped it might be in her home.
Here's how I earn my reputation as a jerk....
I waited until the entire family was around to ask Mom, "Hey Mom, I really love this table, could Nancy and I have it, it would occupy a special place in our home?" This would have launched WW3, except for I couldn't stop laughing. I swear, I believe Mom would have given it to me on the spot. On the other hand, if Mom had of given it to me, I'd have given it to DeAnna, because I knew she loved it more. Still I thought it was funny., So much for my warped sense of humor.
Now back to the bucket list - I did create a few things I wanted to get done before I die. As well as a preambe, and invitations for you to join me in "Getting Let Go" as well as the more fun sport of "Letting Go!"
Nov. 4, 2008
The “Last Bucket List” of
Michael Wayne Roberts
As of November 4, 2008….subject to many changes in the future
I, Michael Wayne Roberts, being of somewhat sound mind and body, do hereby declare that as of this date, May 27, 2008, this is the “Last Bucket List Will of myself, Michael Wayne Roberts. It is valid only until such time as I update it; which I hope will be monthly with new challenges and adventures that I wish to explore with family, old friends, new friends, strangers, or even in some cases, alone. This is not, at this point a legally binding “PTA document” (Pain in The Ass) document. It is living and growing challenge that I will share with close friends and family only. Of course to become a close friend or family member is generally possible at any time. To become a close friend just give me a wink or a nod at the right time. If you desire family membership, I can help in that area as well; since I am an ordained minister in the Church of Universal Ministry. Please keep in mind that my church does not practice polygamy (it’s too hard for mortals to do) nor do we “allow human or animal sacrifice” since it is so messy. By and large, my congregation simply gives thanks for all that has been given us every day by the Grand Architect of the Universe.
If you are reading this, it is probably because I hoping that you will join me on one, or more, of my bucket list adventures. If you don’t see anything of interest, on the current list; stay tuned for upcoming dates….or what the Hell?…..throw in some ideas for the list of your own. If you have this secret list, you probably know that I am a “Gamer” and might try anything you can name with a friend.
To try and ensure that I keep my priorities straight, I have time banded my list into “near term must do’s”, mid term must do’s, and longer term “wanna do’s”. I have also included a “trash bucket list” of things that I gotta get done soon…..just to get them off my mind; and while these are listed last; I consider them a priority; in that, failing to knock them off could delay the really great “must do’s and wanna do’s. As such, in the near term I am going after the “trash bucket list” with a mortal vengeance. If I am successful at these; it can create more room for the need to and want to do’s on the rest of the bucket list.
If my list seems simple to you; I think that is great. I wanted a foundation I could think about and build upon. I hope you will pay close attention to the near term events, because if I live long enough – they will be complete in the next 6 – 12 months. Others take a little more planning, and are potentially even more important / fun. My truest hope is that some of you may find something that interests you, and jump it the bucket with me! If You Think You Are Ready…..Let Me Know, And As I Have Said Before
Last Will and Bucket List for
Michael W. Roberts
May 27, 2008
Near Term (Gotta Do):
1. Go Fishing for “Big Cats” on the Mississippi. (How could we miss this chance?) you can find that one here...and sign up with me...
http://www.bigcatfishing.com/ for some reason...there is some reluctance on the part of some of my friends.
2. Visit Liverpool England. Home of the Beatles.
3. Great big 4th of July Party down in East Texas featuring our band “Diddley Squat” and family. Ray Price? Kenny Falls? Others? Speak-easy? Bring the team! Dance Instruction / Dance contest….
4. Watermelon festival parade with my family. Consider “do-dah parade”. Sponsor statewide melon carving contest! Bring the Team! Randy Moore, Wade Cobb, Tony Cobb….bring em all.
5. Alaska tour with Nancy (I promised and am overdue on this one) in August.
6. Investigate / Instigate Northeast Texas Revival (with Carabeth Lucky etal.
7. Omaha Fall Festival – win the best of show and chili cook-off (CASI). Sponsor successful scarecrow contest!
8. Actively Participate and Make a Scene at Captain Daingerfield Days.
9. Consider Do-Dah Parade.
10. City / County Christmas - things for everyone – make it special
11. Daingerfield Park Celebration and Festival!!!!
12. Could include Sunday Fest and Lunch….
13. Munich at Christmas with Nancy
Slightly Longer Term (Need to Do)
48 State Bike Ride (alone or with bros. / sistas)
Florist Biker Ride
Memphis World Champ BBQ cook off
Terlingqua Chili World Championship – at least compete
Flower Design Training (CHR) or Texas or Other (Nancy and Mike)
Costa Rica with Big Ike
Mayan Vacation – Tuluum – Chetimzal etc.
Longer Term List…..
Well we’ll just have to wait and see how this one plays out after I finish the first list…..
Ideas Welcome....send em all. Please note that I am currently seeking immediate volunteers for my expedition down the Mississippi in serarch of 100 plus pound catfish. If you're game, and don't mind a bit of a gamey smell - get in touch with me soon. I need to book this trip in the next few weeks.
All the best,
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Secrets of Chasing Women and Having Fun
Another Mystery in the Life of Mike Roberts
For those of you who have not yet met my dear friend Big Ike, He and I go back about a dozen years. Ike is in the concrete business, which like other housing sector businesses is going through some turbulent times. Ike is following this blog and sent me the following post…..
My Dear Friend Ike Writes:
“Good morning my friend, THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HATH MADE AND I WILL REJOICE IN IT! Happy is the man and he alone, he who can call today his own, he who without regret can say, TOMORROW DO THY DAMNDIST FOR I HAVE LIVED TODAY! 3 days ago I didn't even know what a blog was! Now I have on! I just don't know how to write anything on it! Would you do me the great honor of writing something for me based on the theme of chasing women, and having fun! Your style is so much more eloquent, and refined! Call me! Love Ya Man!!!!!! PURA VIDA, Ike
PS Did I spell damnedist correct? It would not come up on spell check?
Since this blog is about letting go I decided Ike’s request fits in ….at least kind of….my response is below…
My dear friend Big Ike asked me to help kick-start his blog by writing something about chasing women and having fun. Obviously this is a great topic, and one that many men and possibly women would be greatly interested in. The unfortunate part of this topic for me is it is a topic I know just about nothing about, especially these days.
Let me try and explain. Here are my list of reasons and excuses for pleading ignorance on this subject.
1. Of my 54 years on this planet, I have held a job for 42 of those years and have been married 35 of them. This did not leave me a whole lot of time for mastering the fine art of having fun or chasing women.
2. Physical Appearance – I’d like to tell you that I have the type of body that “men fear and women love”, however those of you that know me – know better. Another thing that doesn’t help is the fact that, I have the perfect face - for radio.
3. Finally, it seems like every time I was starting to succeed at chasing women or having fun – I’d fool around and get myself caught.
Don’t get me wrong, I was always deeply interested in both topics, just didn’t have the time or the money required to master them. In fact, I have been so unlucky at chasing women and having fun that complete strangers have walked up and said to me “I’ll bet you couldn’t get lucky in a women’s prison with hand full of paroles.”
My dear old Pappy told me that there was only two ways to attract women, and none of the men in our family had ever really figured out how either of them worked.
While I maynot much in the playboy department, I do consider myself an intrepid writer, not afraid of any subject, regardless of how little I may know about the subject. Lack of knowledge has never stopped me before, and I won’t let it stop me now. Especially, since I have a ½ dozen single friends who sometimes provide me updates on these exciting subjects – and I am a good listener.
First, Ike let me give you a possible title for your new blog site.....I know how hard it is to come up with a good title so here you go....
My Journey: From 55 year-old Plowboy to Middle Aged Playboy
Now here are a few potential topics.....
Top 10....er....6......ok 4 Tips for Chasing Women;
1. Frequent Target Rich Environments. According to some of my more successful friends these are environments where the ratio of women to men is at last three – two. Further, it can be helpful, if the women at these places were / are formerly married to oil millionaires, bankers, doctors, lawyers, or other wealthy professional vermin. In some cases these ladies may just be looking for a deckhand for a night of fun; in other cases it can be more serious. My recommendation is as always, be careful.
2. Be sure and use the Internet Dating Service that is right for you. Subscribe to all Internet dating services, but be a little bit careful about how you use them. Some, like E-Harmony are actually trying to fix you up with someone who is compatible with you, this could put a quick end to chasing women and having fun….so watch it. Others, like match.com, are more helpful, just trying to match up horny couples who need to get laid. Be sure when using these services not to fall in love, as your likelihood of true compatibility is somewhat diminished. Finally, there is Craigslist.com; where you are most likely to find hookers and catch a serious STD.
(Case Study; I have a buddy who has got to be over 70 who told me he was getting more every month, than he had in the last 10 years. He was seeing White, Black, Asian, and Hispanic women) His top secrets were Money, Match.Com, and Viagra. I asked him about STD’s and he claimed that at his age his doctor said he was "immune".
3. Always wear a wedding ring. If you have thrown all your old one’s out, go and buy a new one. These are must attire for gentlemen on the prowl. You see with a wedding ring, there is an automatic assumption of “no-commitments”, apparently and according to the experts, many women feel extremely comfortable with this sort of arrangement. This issue has become so prevalent, that a musician friend of mine has quit wearing his wedding ring, to prevent these type of women from stalking him.
4. Style Yourself. Keep in mind that the style you present, will determine the type of women you may attract. Here are a couple of classifications:
a. High Style - Drives a 2008 Atomic Orange Convertible Corvette. Wears swanky looking clothes, with matching shoes. Body build etc. thin, tan, muscular. Carries a minimum of twenty one hundred dollar bills in a gold money clip. Wears Rolex President watch. Also has, a wallet full over the limit plastic. This guy gets them just about every time. Trouble is, sometimes they just want his money.
b. Medium Style – Wears casual business clothes, glasses, looks somewhat inconspicuous. Carries two credit cards, one personal, one business. Medium build; average appearance. This is a very dangerous style to display. It will tend to attract only women who want to marry you, and usually if they are attractive they have 2 kids under 5 years old.
c. Deckhand – Wears only sleeveless shirts, with somewhat faded bluejeans or cut-off’s in the summer. Occasionally, wears a mullet (especially in the south). Has glorious tan, strong abs, big chest and biceps. Might have beer money in his pocket, no watch, no socks, no underwear. This is the ideal style if you can pull it off, it’s the "what you see is what you get – party boy look". Guaranteed for a night of fun.
Top Ways to Run Off Women:
1. Please review the profile of Mike Roberts. This has been almost fool proof for over 50 years.
2. Use some of those outdate lines from the 70’s like “what is your sign?” or “have you been sitting in a puddle or are you glad to see me?
3. Get some of those mud flaps for your pick-up with the naked gal silhouette.
4. Get a Tee Shirt that says “if they didn’t have vaginas, there would be a bounty on them."
If any of the rest of you have ideas for Big Ike's Chasing Women and Having Fun Blog, you can post them here, or email them to Big Ike in person @ email@example.com
One more word of wisdom for the ladies who might read this to keep in mind, I have had 4 friends get married in the last two years, none of them are still married. Although, I suspect this has little to do with me, my official record over the last two years is 4 marriages; 3 divorces; 1 annulment; and no one left on base.
None the less, I have given this assignment my best & I wish all of you…..
All the best,
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Some "letting go" type decisions are easier to make than others. Here's an example of what I consider a "no brainer".. Nancy and I are going to sell the house here in Memphis. The reasoning on this is pretty simple - if we can get it sold, along with the one in Texas (which is supposed to close on November 20), we have maximum flexibility to go anywhere we choose. We also, would be completely debt free - and free to coast for quite a while if choose to. Man, coasting sounds good to me.
Now when I said Nancy and I are going to sell this house, I meant exactly what I said. Nancy and I are going to sell this house ourselves without the aid of a real estate agent. Why....well that's another no brainer....it is a bad market here like everywhere else. I don't really need to give away 6% of the value of the place to a real estate firm. I'd rather reduce the price by 6% and give the benefit to the new owner...and hopefully sell the place faster. I'd like to be out from under this joint by Christmas if possible.
As with all decisions, there are consequences. Perhaps the biggest one here is that we have to get rid of a bunch of junk, especially in the garage which has become an dangerous place to walk, an eyesore, and a fire hazard. So here's the deal, Nancy, and I got a big jump on this bad boy Friday- we rented a 10' x 20" storage building. Since I guess our home here is a little over 2000 square feet - and I'll bet we fill that storage building to the gills, a logical calculation would indicate that we have about 10% too much junk. That would be a logical calculation - my bet is we bot 40% too much junk and we going to try and cram pack it into this storage building. The picture at the top of this post should give you an idea of what we are confronting....
Well to make this long story a little shorter....actually a two-parter.....we made a dent on the junk......then went ahead and watched the Longhorns lose to the Texas Tech, and then Dallas lose to the Giants.....WTF.....More work to do....on letting go...
All the best
I am not sure if I can get all of this done today before the Texas Longhorns play Texas Tech, but however far I get....I'm stopping for the game. I'll try and get a few pics in case you see any "choice junk" you think you need from our collection.
Well we got us one heck of a big weekend planned here by Golly!!! That's right, we're going to be packing up all the senseless junk that we have accumulated and moving it to the storage building. The idea here is that we are getting the house ready to sell, and all this junk would probably turn off a prospective buyer. Not only could it turn off an prospective buyer - it is definitely a safety and fire hazard.